23 Comments
Nov 2, 2020Liked by Andrew Ditton

Thank you Andrew for this. I often wonder why people ask my email but I never hear from them. I have found that most people expect me to visit them, they never think to visit me. In my 67 years I have only managed to get one true friend who is always there for me.

Expand full comment
Nov 1, 2020Liked by Andrew Ditton

Wonderful words & very apt. I read somewhere that we make friends when we need certain support then quite naturally move on. Like you said though, a true friend can be called upon however long the time has passed since you last spoke. Only the few πŸ€—πŸ’•πŸŒ»

Expand full comment
Nov 3, 2020Liked by Andrew Ditton

Thanks Andrew, that's an interesting read. I've also found there are people who are friends 'for a season'. For example, fellow students I shared a house with and got on really well with, and then lost touch with them later - while some other friends stay in touch for many years, even if there are gaps between contacts. That's not to say the 'seasonal' friends are inferior in some way, in fact it's an argument for making the most of the time with them while they're around, as you never know if that season will end. Hope to catch up when we're finally able to travel again...

Expand full comment
Nov 2, 2020Liked by Andrew Ditton

Morning Andrew

True friends do indeed stick with you and it doesn't matter if you don't see them or chat for some time. When you do its like you've never been away, they never judge either

Those friends are few in number but one that will support use with whatever way we need it whereever we are in the world

Have a wonderful day awesome video last night by the way

Expand full comment

Hi Andrew I know what you mean but unless you're thick skinned, you do take it personally. I've always tried to be nice to people because I know how it feels when it's the opposite! I have learned though that when people are not nice, it's not because of something you have done but a problem of their's. I used to worry myself silly wondering what I could have possibly done to upset this person! Now I know the problem was their's all along. So sorry you have been rejected in the past, no-one deserves it if they've done nothing wrong xxx

Expand full comment

Hi Andrew. I struggled hugely with this subject and only really got to grips with it in my 60’s. Now I’m 70 I’m a master (mistress!!!) of it and have my strategies for staying at peace. My daughter who is autistic says I am too and she should know, so it’s been a long and painful journey but as Douglas would say, I think I’ve got it licked. Funnily enough when people ask me why on Earth I want to move to Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁒󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 if I don’t want to go into politics with them I say I’ve got a friend in Uist 😁 guess who that is! Peace & joy to you, Jan x

Expand full comment

Another great topic and very good read Andrew, although not a topic I have really pondered for too long, or even at all if I am honest. Not sure if I am a bit weird, or it is everyone else, but I confess to having no close friends, really, none at all. Of course, I have experienced close friendship throughout my relatively long existence. However, for various reasons they have all, without exception, turned out to be untrustworthy to one degree or another and have consequently left my life, permanently. Frankly, I am very happy with this situation, as it turns out I am not really a people person anyway, so perhaps it was my own personality causing past unpleasant out turns to so-called friendships.

Anyway, it seems like you may have been spared too much personal pain by the actions of those you would otherwise have befriended, potentially only to be let down at some future time perhaps? It is pleasing to note your new life seems to be really good for you (and the boss dog!) and I continue to follow your exploits and writings deriving much pleasure.

Stay safe and well sir,

Rog... x

Expand full comment

With all the loneliness and isolation now, we make parasocial friendships with our online YouTube idols! :-)

Expand full comment

Another top read Andrew and so so true. Would rather spend my time talking to and generally keeping in touch with, true friends that have stood the test of time as it were. Not always very good at it though!

Expand full comment

This really resonated with me Andrew, especially thinking back to lockdown. I felt like I spent a lot of time talking to people making sure they were doing ok in difficult times. But I never had the volume of calls back that I had put out. I found it really quite upsetting for a while but it was probably a reflection of the loneliness I was feeling myself, especially as I was being shielded by the government. That too, for the first time in my life, gave me anxiety as having a letter to say how venerable I am was shocking seeing it in black and white. Something I always always had just brushed under the carpet before!

After a couple of wobbles I gave myself a good talking to. I figured that I was spending far too much effort and energy on contacting people. All through my life I have had many friends and they are either here for a reason, a season or a lifetime. We really have to sit up and listen to those that are shown to us at the right place at the right time. They will be the ones who move us forward! Take care and keep safe ~ Lin (Home from Home)xx

Expand full comment

Agnetha xx

Expand full comment