Thank you Andrew for this. I often wonder why people ask my email but I never hear from them. I have found that most people expect me to visit them, they never think to visit me. In my 67 years I have only managed to get one true friend who is always there for me.
Indeed. It's actually kinder for people not to 'pretend' to be polite and ask for these contact details if they aren't prepared to make the room for them. But our social etiquette would dictate otherwise... and I feel that is actually way worse for our own wellbeing. All the best.
Wonderful words & very apt. I read somewhere that we make friends when we need certain support then quite naturally move on. Like you said though, a true friend can be called upon however long the time has passed since you last spoke. Only the few 🤗💕🌻
Thanks Andrew, that's an interesting read. I've also found there are people who are friends 'for a season'. For example, fellow students I shared a house with and got on really well with, and then lost touch with them later - while some other friends stay in touch for many years, even if there are gaps between contacts. That's not to say the 'seasonal' friends are inferior in some way, in fact it's an argument for making the most of the time with them while they're around, as you never know if that season will end. Hope to catch up when we're finally able to travel again...
True friends do indeed stick with you and it doesn't matter if you don't see them or chat for some time. When you do its like you've never been away, they never judge either
Those friends are few in number but one that will support use with whatever way we need it whereever we are in the world
Have a wonderful day awesome video last night by the way
Hi Andrew I know what you mean but unless you're thick skinned, you do take it personally. I've always tried to be nice to people because I know how it feels when it's the opposite! I have learned though that when people are not nice, it's not because of something you have done but a problem of their's. I used to worry myself silly wondering what I could have possibly done to upset this person! Now I know the problem was their's all along. So sorry you have been rejected in the past, no-one deserves it if they've done nothing wrong xxx
Hi Andrew. I struggled hugely with this subject and only really got to grips with it in my 60’s. Now I’m 70 I’m a master (mistress!!!) of it and have my strategies for staying at peace. My daughter who is autistic says I am too and she should know, so it’s been a long and painful journey but as Douglas would say, I think I’ve got it licked. Funnily enough when people ask me why on Earth I want to move to Scotland 🏴 if I don’t want to go into politics with them I say I’ve got a friend in Uist 😁 guess who that is! Peace & joy to you, Jan x
Another top read Andrew and so so true. Would rather spend my time talking to and generally keeping in touch with, true friends that have stood the test of time as it were. Not always very good at it though!
This really resonated with me Andrew, especially thinking back to lockdown. I felt like I spent a lot of time talking to people making sure they were doing ok in difficult times. But I never had the volume of calls back that I had put out. I found it really quite upsetting for a while but it was probably a reflection of the loneliness I was feeling myself, especially as I was being shielded by the government. That too, for the first time in my life, gave me anxiety as having a letter to say how venerable I am was shocking seeing it in black and white. Something I always always had just brushed under the carpet before!
After a couple of wobbles I gave myself a good talking to. I figured that I was spending far too much effort and energy on contacting people. All through my life I have had many friends and they are either here for a reason, a season or a lifetime. We really have to sit up and listen to those that are shown to us at the right place at the right time. They will be the ones who move us forward! Take care and keep safe ~ Lin (Home from Home)xx
Oh Lin, I HEAR you! It's a fine balance. On one hand we have to give freely and without expectation of return, but on the other hand it does us no good to bang our heads against a wall. You're absolutely right - we just have to go with the flow and let people come and go. It's amazing how sometimes the ones that stay are the least expected. All the best xx
Thank you Andrew for this. I often wonder why people ask my email but I never hear from them. I have found that most people expect me to visit them, they never think to visit me. In my 67 years I have only managed to get one true friend who is always there for me.
Indeed. It's actually kinder for people not to 'pretend' to be polite and ask for these contact details if they aren't prepared to make the room for them. But our social etiquette would dictate otherwise... and I feel that is actually way worse for our own wellbeing. All the best.
Wonderful words & very apt. I read somewhere that we make friends when we need certain support then quite naturally move on. Like you said though, a true friend can be called upon however long the time has passed since you last spoke. Only the few 🤗💕🌻
Thanks Andrew, that's an interesting read. I've also found there are people who are friends 'for a season'. For example, fellow students I shared a house with and got on really well with, and then lost touch with them later - while some other friends stay in touch for many years, even if there are gaps between contacts. That's not to say the 'seasonal' friends are inferior in some way, in fact it's an argument for making the most of the time with them while they're around, as you never know if that season will end. Hope to catch up when we're finally able to travel again...
Morning Andrew
True friends do indeed stick with you and it doesn't matter if you don't see them or chat for some time. When you do its like you've never been away, they never judge either
Those friends are few in number but one that will support use with whatever way we need it whereever we are in the world
Have a wonderful day awesome video last night by the way
Hi Andrew I know what you mean but unless you're thick skinned, you do take it personally. I've always tried to be nice to people because I know how it feels when it's the opposite! I have learned though that when people are not nice, it's not because of something you have done but a problem of their's. I used to worry myself silly wondering what I could have possibly done to upset this person! Now I know the problem was their's all along. So sorry you have been rejected in the past, no-one deserves it if they've done nothing wrong xxx
The point is Anne, it's not personal. But you are right - it's not about us.
I understand 😘💜xx
Hi Andrew. I struggled hugely with this subject and only really got to grips with it in my 60’s. Now I’m 70 I’m a master (mistress!!!) of it and have my strategies for staying at peace. My daughter who is autistic says I am too and she should know, so it’s been a long and painful journey but as Douglas would say, I think I’ve got it licked. Funnily enough when people ask me why on Earth I want to move to Scotland 🏴 if I don’t want to go into politics with them I say I’ve got a friend in Uist 😁 guess who that is! Peace & joy to you, Jan x
Cheers Jan! Yes, I'm not sure we will ever fully get over it no matter what our logical minds tell us.
That was Dougal before it got annihilated!
With all the loneliness and isolation now, we make parasocial friendships with our online YouTube idols! :-)
Another top read Andrew and so so true. Would rather spend my time talking to and generally keeping in touch with, true friends that have stood the test of time as it were. Not always very good at it though!
Cheers Rich! Yes, but the point is too, you don't *have* to be good at it where true friends are concerned ;)
This really resonated with me Andrew, especially thinking back to lockdown. I felt like I spent a lot of time talking to people making sure they were doing ok in difficult times. But I never had the volume of calls back that I had put out. I found it really quite upsetting for a while but it was probably a reflection of the loneliness I was feeling myself, especially as I was being shielded by the government. That too, for the first time in my life, gave me anxiety as having a letter to say how venerable I am was shocking seeing it in black and white. Something I always always had just brushed under the carpet before!
After a couple of wobbles I gave myself a good talking to. I figured that I was spending far too much effort and energy on contacting people. All through my life I have had many friends and they are either here for a reason, a season or a lifetime. We really have to sit up and listen to those that are shown to us at the right place at the right time. They will be the ones who move us forward! Take care and keep safe ~ Lin (Home from Home)xx
Oh Lin, I HEAR you! It's a fine balance. On one hand we have to give freely and without expectation of return, but on the other hand it does us no good to bang our heads against a wall. You're absolutely right - we just have to go with the flow and let people come and go. It's amazing how sometimes the ones that stay are the least expected. All the best xx
Agnetha xx
Ten points to Anne! :)
Hey, whatever works for you Rog! I feel very fortunate to have some outstanding friends.
Don't know how people could not be friends with you Rog!! xx